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What about sex with Russian women? Advice of the professional matchmakers.
So, what about sex with Russian girl, when she and a foreigner meet in person for their first time? This is the issue that arises after you have corresponded for some time and travelled to Russia or Ukraine to meet your would be soulmate in person in her native town or city, or when she stays on a fiancée visa in the USA, but still before you have proposed.
The attitudes from the behalf of women differ. There are women who are against having sex with their prospective foreign husband before they come to know him better, but from the other hand there are others, who believe that having sex would be O.K., provided there's enough initial mutual attraction. After all, sexual life is an important constituent part of any successful marriage, and it can be just wise to see what you can expect from your marriage partner within the terms of intimacy between the two of you.
Typically an idea to get married to a Russian lady comes to an individual man's mind after surfing the Internet and visiting numerous sites that offer dating services for single marriage minded gentlemen that wish to start communicating with the Russian girls and single women whose photo personal profiles can be found in the category titled Russian mail order bride database or album (ladies gallery) or something like that. The other Russian marriage agency websites could name them Russian bride search engine, or online catalog of Russian order wives, or whatever - not important what, after all. The point that's really important is having clear understanding of the difference existing between free online personals or classifieds sites that are NOT run by matchmaker agencies. In fact, in most cases you won't be able to find out who runs them. Our foremost and very first advice for men that are really marriage minded should, probably, sound like this: stay away from the free sites. Because of being poorly moderated, they have become favorite place for Russian scammers posing as mail (often male) order brides - do you understand the ironic connotation?
There's an opinion among Russian women that they should have sex in case they generally like the man they are regarding building serious relationship with. This is like buying a TV set or another home appliance: you won't make your decision to purchase based only on its price, outer looks, and technical parameters, you will ask a shop assistant to have it tested in order to see how it works in different modes and speeds. Of course, if you just don't like him, you shouldn't force yourself even for the sake of obtaining a Green Card. If you don't feel like having sex, but he continues to insist, you better stop it there - that's my advice to women.
Here is a couple of examples taken from real life to illustrate what I mean.
Galya and Louis, aged 30 and 40. She dreams of getting married to Spain. They got in touch via a Russian women chatroom at one of the Russian introductions agencies that features photo personal ads of Russian girls and single women. After 3 months of correspondence, chat, and communication, he sent Galya an invitation to visit him in his home city in Spain. He worked for a big bank and got a very good salary, owned an apartment in Madrid, had been never married, was tall and very handsome. Galya herself is a well established business lady, who still before getting acquainted with Louis visited Western Europe several times, including Spain. Considering that, it didn't take much time for her to visit the prospective groom.
Afterwards she told that she liked him from the first glance, but Galya decided to postpone having sex with him until they come to know each other better.
The two weeks they spent together were like in fairy tale. In the morning he would cook a breakfast and leave it on her bedside table (they slept separately in two different sleeping rooms), they would meet during daytime in the city for dinner at a restaurant and then would have a walk or travelled to the close by towns. He introduced her to his numerous friends and family members. Galya says that he never pressed her for having sex, and was absolutely not pushy.
She came back home very much impressed and optimistic and started her visa process for her next visit, which took place one year afterwards to stay there for almost a month, but this time she came back home... very disappointed.
It turned out that he had never asked her for sex, because he had been suffering from impotence. When she made up her mind to go intimate, if turned out complete failure during 5 successive nights. He explained that since during her first visit to Spain she showed no desire to have sex, he concluded that she was one of those women for whom sex in "not important", and that he liked that fact.
Galya was desperate: what a waste of time and money just to discover he was nothing like she expected him to be in the intimate life, while sex relationship is what is very important for her, young, beautiful, and sexy woman. She regretted very much for not having had sex with him at the early stage of their relationship during her first visit to Spain.
Yulia and Andrew
Yulia 31 and Andrew 47. This story was shared by Yulia, who had met her future foreign husband on the internet via another free online dating site of classifieds designed for Russian women seeking foreign men from English speaking countries like the USA, UK, Canada, India, Australia, Sweden etc.
She corresponded with an American from New York, who was looking for a Russian mail order wife. During some rather prolonged and detailed correspondence he visited her in Moscow, but since Yulia was living together with her parents who sticked to very strong morals, the sex was agreed to take place only after the marriage. Both Yulia and her parents liked Andrew. He spent about two weeks in a hotel in Moscow, and then after returning back to New York, the USA, he filed a petition for a fiancée visa for his young and sexy and beautiful Russian order bride. After some lengthy process that took approximately 9 months, she passed her interview with the American Embassy in Moscow successfully, and at last arrived in New York where the marriage actually took place.
At last all the pre-marital restrictions were lifted, and the newlyweds went to bed. But what a horrible experience! Yulia says she will never forget that wedding night, which turned out not at all a romantic one - as well as the successive nights that followed the first one. Her husband would put on female fashion underwear, stockings, and shoes, and would ask Yulia to act as a man. She was shocked. Now Yulia says that the first and foremost what she would ask her new dates about, are not the size of their salary, or kind of home they live in, or the career they pursue, but their preferences in sex. Currently she is divorced, lives in New York, and is looking for a husband that would suit her better.
Positive sex experience between Russian women and foreign men
All these were about negative experience of postponing sex until after the marriage. Now read on about positive experience of having sex in the first days of coming to know each other in person.
Ludmila 36 and William 49. Ludmila didn't know English, while her lover that she found on the internet could hardly speak any decent Russia language. During the internet phase of the relationship they communicated through translators and interpreters. William travelled to St. Petersburg, Russia's northern capital, to spend there 10 days with Ludmila. Ludmila saw him in at the airport, and, according to what she says, they started kissing while still in the taxi and this way they arrived at the hotel he had booked. During the time he spent in St Petersburg, they hardly left his hotel room, maybe to dine out only. While recalling that experience, William laughs saying that from St Petersburg he remembers only a large bed and a beautiful woman Ludmila, who is now his wife and who's pregnant, waiting for a baby.
Elena 42 and Robert 59. Her first husband left for Canada, having taken all the money that the couple had been saving hoping to buy an apartment. A little afterwards he sent her a message to her mobile phone saying that he met in Canada a single young Ukrainian lady with a Canadian passport and was going to marry her. He was asking for divorce. Elena found herself alone with two children on her hands.
Having made an effort to recover from the shock and grief, she started to look for marriage minded men in Western Europe in order to escape the poverty and provide better future for her children. She says that in the letters she exchanged with eligible single men she put it bluntly that she wanted to relocate and would agree for a fictitious marriage. It turns out that sincerity can be the best behavior, believe it or not. Finally she came across Robert from Germany.
After having exchange only 3-4 e-mails he invited Elena to visit him in Germany. Since she applied without children who temporarily were left in Russia, her visa was granted quickly enough. He lived on the farm in the picturesque village where he owned a house. He was divorced and also had 2 children from the previous marriage, but they were both already grown up and lived separately in Berlin.
Elena says that at her age of 42 she again felt like a young Russian girl in love, and that she had never before received so much pleasure from having sex, neither at the age of 20, or 30, never! He wouldn't let her go back to Russia (she is from Smolensk) until they got engaged. He wanted to be sure they would get married. Currently Elena lives with her new foreign husband and their small daughter aged 3 in Germany, and her elder daughter also relocated to the country, where she got a boyfriend that she also met through online matchmaker agency.
Of course, to have sex or not - that's what is to be decided independently, and there are both cons and pros. Yet here's a bit of the statistics from the survey conducted by one of the internet sites specializing in the FSU mail order brides introductions. Male clients of the marriage agency were asked whether they would continue the relationship if sex occurred on the very first date. 70% of the respondents answered "yes", while only 20 were positively sure that they'd rather stop it there and remain friends. The age of men that took part in the survey ranged from 30 to 60 years old.
Hope that single western men will profit from this brief review.
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